Not About Angels
by Anna221B
Summary: Rose gets trapped on a planet and sold into The Trade, where she has to endure unspeakable things daily. What happens when the Doctor finds her, and finds out what happened to her? Will she stay with him?
1. Chapter 1

**(Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. If I did, Rose and the Doctor would be together.)**

Chapter 1

**~Rose~**

199 days since I got lost. 199 days of torture. Tomorrow was the 200-day anniversary of my misery. I still hadn't stopped hoping, wishing for the blessed sound of the blue box. But it never came.

I looked around the place that I had lived for the past 199 days. Dirt floors and beds and curtains around said beds. Every night, a wave of men came through. Some were regulars. Some came every now and then, and some came only just once. I sat on my bed and stared at my filthy sheets. There were blood stains and other stains of unknown origin.

It was almost time for the wave. I dreaded it. The clock struck eight and the 'clients' came in. I saw one of them was Mr. Rouhbury. He was a regular of mine. All of the clients went to the bed of their choosing. I watched as Mr. Rouhbury came to mine, staggering and drunk. He was worst at these times. Rougher and harder. He crawled up on the bed, and slurred something unintelligible. He started touching me, his hot breath on my face. I closed my eyes and became unresponsive until it was over. He didn't care. He did what he wanted, and left soon enough, and another man took his place. And another, and another. Finally, this round of men were finished, and I had a break until one. I gathered my ripped and dirty clothes off the ground. They were the clothes that I had on when I got separated from the Doctor. Once I was dressed again, I asked the head man if I could go for a walk. Sometimes they let us go outside after we were done with our first few clients for the night. You had to earn the privilege, though. He gave me a gruff yes, and said to be back in an half hour, at 12:30.

I nodded my thanks and headed out the door. As I rounded the corner, I saw the blue box. The heaven I had wanted for so long. The clock chimed midnight. I walked slowly towards the box, as if it could disappear if I was too quick. I rose a trembling hand and knocked three times. My whole body was shaking. The door opened with the all-too-familiar squeak, and there he was. The Doctor.

"Rose?"

Tears tumbled over my cheeks.

"Is it really you?"

I nodded, speechless. My breath came unevenly. My knees buckled, and the Doctor lifted me up, grinning that grin that I had longed for for 200 days. He carried me into the TARDIS, holding me tightly. He laughed a laugh if pure joy, then pulled back to look at me. "Oh, Rose... What happened?"

I just shook my head and held him as tight as I could.

Reluctantly, we released each other, and walked slowly through the TARDIS doors, our gazes never leaving one another. His eyes glanced down to my apparel, a crease appearing between his brows when he saw the state of my clothing, but he said nothing.

I gazed around the TARDIS, drinking in the sight of my home. A sudden wave of exhaustion washed over me, and I sighed. "I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad to see you-"

"I can't tell you how thrilled I am that you're back!" He grinned, and embraced me again, lifting me up and swinging me around.

"-but I am exhausted. I really just want to go take a shower, and go to bed."

He nodded quickly, and set me down. I started off towards my room. Once there, I slowly stripped off my clothes and went to the en-suite bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. All over my body there were marks. Ugly, terrible marks. I was ugly. My eyes were dull, and my hair was dull, too. I looked away and stepped over to the shower, turning the heat all the way up. It had been so long since I'd showered. The scorching water ran down my back, and, unable to stay up any longer, I slid down until I was sitting. Then, I started sobbing. Great, heaving sobs that I tried to quieten with my hands. I sobbed until there were no tears anymore, and fell asleep under the endless hot water.

**Doctor~**

I paced up and down the corridor that led to Rose's room. I couldn't believe I had found her. I had missed her so much. I couldn't bear being away from her for so long. I felt horrible about losing her. It killed me. All I could do was look for her. I didn't know how long it had been for her. It had been two and a half agonizing months for me. I almost didn't recognize the dirty, sad girl I had opened the TARDIS's door to.

Rose had been in the shower for a long time. I decided to go check on her. Arriving at her bathroom door, I knocked, "Rose, are you okay?"

There was no answer.

"Rose?" I said, louder this time. I asked the TARDIS what was going on. In response, she unlocked Rose's door. I went in to find Rose curled up in the bottom of her steaming hot shower. My eyes widened as I got closer to turn off the water. She had marks _all over _her body, and I could see each one of her ribs. Quickly, I picked her up and wrapped her tiny form in a fluffy towel, and ran to Medbay. Once there, I laid her down on a bed, and checked her temperature. 104. Oh dear. I ran a series of tests.

In a few minutes, the machine dinged and I yanked out the list of her ailments. Malnutrition, bruising, and many forms of deprivation. "Rose?" I nudged her gently. Her eyelashes fluttered.

"I don't want to!" she moaned, "Don't make me. Please!"

"Rose, darling, you don't have to do anything. I just need you to wake up," I shook her gently and her amber eyes slowly opened.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Rose. I'm right here."

"What... What happened?"

"You were in the shower for awhile. I went to check on you, but when you didn't answer, the TARDIS opened the door for me and you

were laying in the bottom of the shower, asleep."

She tucked the towel around her tighter and winced.

"Rose... How long?"

"Doesn't matter," she mumbled under her breath.

"It does. How long?"

"200 days when the clock struck midnight," she answered, her voice hard, and when she looked up at me, her eyes harder, the beautiful liquid, dark gold eyes frozen over.

I sucked in a breath, "What happened while you were there?"

"Nothing much. I was... taken in by some... people."

I raised an eyebrow, "Mmhmm."

"I was! I'm going to bed, Doctor. Goodnight."

"Wait! Rose, come here," she complied and I gathered her into my arms. "I'm so glad to have you back," I whispered into her hair. She nodded curtly and untangled herself from me, holding tightly to the top of her towel.

"I missed you too, Doctor," she whispered and turned around. I could've sworn I saw a tear fall down her cheek, but she turned away too quickly for me to tell.

**~Rose~**

_"I don't want to. Don't make me. Please!" I begged with the man who found me and was selling me to The Trade._

_"You don't have a say, sweetheart," he sneered. He walked me up to the stage and called out a number for the bidding to start. The man who bought me paid 200,000 qualngs. He grabbed me roughly by the wrist and pulled me towards the building I had stayed at for 199 days. _

_"Rose, darling, you don't have to do anything..."_

My eyes fluttered open.

**(AN: So this is my first Doctor Who fic. Whaddaya think? If you like The Mortal Instruments, read my other fic, Alone or Maybe Not! Please review! It makes me happy.)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**(Disclaimer: I do not own DW, yadda, yadda, MOFFAT!)**

**(AN: So by the time this is posted, I will most likely be on summer vacation, because right now it is Monday, May 26, and it is 1:53 in the morning, and I'm not in the mood to sleep and I get out of school Friday. So if you're still reading this (and I in no way blame you if you aren't, though I suppose you wouldn't know, as you haven't read this), enjoy!)**

"Doctor?" I woke from my dream-nightmare-with a frenzied start.

"Yes, Rose. I'm right here."

"What... what happened?"

"You were in the shower for awhile. I went to check on you, but when you didn't answer, the TARDIS opened the door for me and you were laying in the bottom of the shower, asleep."

I tucked the towel tighter around me and winced. It hurt.

"Rose... how long?"

"Doesn't matter," I muttered. He had no right to know. He _left _me there.

"It does," he persisted, "How long?"

"Two hundred days when the clock struck

midnight."

Air whooshed through his lips, "What happened while you were there?"

"Nothing much," the lie tripped from my lips, "I was... taken in by some...people." I struggled to call the beings I had encountered in my time in that Hell people.

He cocked an eyebrow with a sarcastic "Mmmhmmm."

"I was!" I insisted. "I'm going to bed, Doctor. Goodnight." I was walking toward the door when the Doctor's voice from behind stopped me.

"Wait! Rose, come back."

I obeyed, and he took me into his arms. I tensed, but soon relaxed.

"I'm so glad to have you back," he whispered to the top of my head.

I nodded, and broke free of his hold on me. "I missed you too, Doctor." I turned and walked away quickly, because right after I said it, a tear freed itself from my eye and made its way down my cheek. I made my way back to my room, which the TARDIS had blessedly made closer for me. "Thanks, old girl. I'm glad to have you back." She hummed in a way I interpreted as lovingly as I opened the door to my room.

I cast my towel aside and climbed into bed without any clothing on. I tucked myself under my soft comforter and closed my eyes, willing the world to fade away into blissful, empty sleep. However, I found that willing sleep to come causes it to elude you even more. Sleep was like a mirage to me then; something I desperately needed, tantalizingly close, yet out of reach. After a few hours of tossing and turning, I finally flung my covers aside and swung my feet over the side of the bed, wincing when I felt my body protesting such quick movement. I slowly slid clothes on, easing the garments over my sore, battered body.

The door creaked when it opened, and I cringed. I padded my way down the hall to the kitchen, where I found the Doctor, making a cuppa. I eased my way around him to the cabinet where we kept the tea. I waited as the water boiled. The Doctor watched me the entire time.

**~Doctor~**

All I could think about was Rose. _Rose, Rose, Rose. What happened to her? _The worst scenarios imaginable popped into my mind, and I subsequently banished them. If something as bad as my imaginings had happened, she would tell me. _Right? _I was surprised when she shuffled into the kitchen, dark bags atop hollowed cheeks. It was then that I noticed the look in her eyes. She looked as if the life had been sucked from her. She shuffled around me to the cabinet where we kept the tea. She said nothing, didn't even look at me while preparing her tea.

"Rose, what were those bruises from?"

"You know me. I'm jeopardy-friendly," she attempted a joke. I just shook my head.

"You _are _jeopardy-friendly, Rose, but those aren't the kind of bruises you get from falling down a flight of stairs," I referred to the bruises I saw when I found her in the bathroom.

"Well, it's not much of your business, is it?"

"You're my business, Rose. Everyone I travel with is my business."

"Nothing happened, Doctor. Nothing of importance," she snapped.

"Then why won't you tell me?"

"Because it doesn't MATTER!" she snapped.

"If it doesn't _matter_, why won't you _tell me?" _I was getting angry.

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!" she shouted. After she realized what she said, her eyes widened and she clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Rose. Tell me what happened," my voice was flat.

"N-no, Doctor," with that she took off down the hall to her room. I followed, close on her heels. She turned the corner into her room and slammed and locked her door. I tried to sonic it open, but it didn't work.

"Rose, please let me in."

No answer.

"Rose, I just want to help. Tell me what happened. Please?"

No answer. I gave up and went to the console room. "Hey, old girl. Can you help me? Show me what happened?" Suddenly, the TARDIS was moving of her own volition. When she halted to a stop, I raced to the doors. I opened them to see a dirty room, like a warehouse. The floors were made of dirt. The puzzling thing was the beds. There were a lot of them. There were curtains on rails, like in hospitals. It smelled of sweat and filth.

Just then, a man came around the corner, "Hello, sir! What service do you need?"

"Umm, well- what exactly do you have?"

"Oh, we have many girls here, of many planets and ethnicities!" My eyes widened. He spoke of these women as if they were cars!

I decided to go along with it, "You wouldn't happen to have a girl with blonde hair and brown eyes, would you?" I prayed to God that Rose hadn't been one of these girls.

"Oh, sir, I'm sorry. We had one, but she escaped somehow. She was popular here. Had several regulars. Disappeared last night. We are still trying to find her. Fit your description perfectly. The only one with that combination we had."

"What was her name?" I was angry. So, so angry. And afraid.

"Hmmmm... I believe she was called... Rose."

I was breathing heavily, my breath coming raggedly. I stormed back to the TARDIS, slamming the door behind me. I ran to Rose's room and banged on her door, "ROSE!"

There was no answer. I waited a few moments, and when there was still no response, I kicked the door down. Rose was there in her bed, asleep.

**(So there it is. I know it's not the best. Please review, as it makes me happy! And a happy me means more updates!)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**(AN: Hey guys! I know. I suck. A lot. Like, OHMIGOD. I have a Tumblr, If you want to see more of me:moonlight-minds. I'm not dead, I just haven't had much inspiration or motive to write lately. I don't own DW.)**

Soon after I ran back to my room, I fell asleep. When I came to, I was being shaken awake by the Doctor.

"Rose! Rose!"

I yawned, "Yes, Doctor?"

"I need you to tell me what happened while you were away."

I peered up at him. "I've already told you," I said flatly. I wasn't discussing this. I _couldn't. _Not yet.

"_No_ you haven't! You _didn't tell me _that you were captured and sold. You _didn't tell me _that you were forced to become a _prostitute!" _

My eyes widened and my cheeks reddened in an enraged flush. How _dare _he call me that. How _dare _he say that _word._ How _dare _he go searching for answers I didn't want to give! "_Get. Out._" I said through clenched teeth. My body was taut, my muscles frozen in place.

"Rose-"

"Get. OUT!" I screamed at him. Indignant tears were welling up in my eyes.

"Rose, talk to me-"

If he wasn't leaving, I was. Wrapping my bed sheet around my body, I hurled myself off the bed and out the door, breaking into a sprint down the hallway. I made a few turns and turned into a random door, slamming and sliding the bolt home. I slid down the door until I was sitting. I heard the Doctor speed by the door, still running for me.

Run. We were always running. Sometimes it felt like we never stopped. But I wasn't running any more.

I took in my surroundings. I was in a bare room, with nothing but a sofa. I got up slowly, and made my way to the sofa, and sat down. I heard the concerned hum of the TARDIS.

"I'm okay, old girl."

She hummed again, and I laid down. I was so - so - _tired._ I fell asleep to the gentle lullaby of the TARDIS.

**~Doctor~**

I couldn't find her. She wasn't in any of her usual places.

I shouldn't have gotten angry. It wasn't her fault. She would've told me eventually.

_Right?_

I tried asking the TARDIS to tell me where she was, but she only hummed indignantly at me. She did tell me that Rose was fine, though, and sleeping. She was doing a lot of that. It wasn't surprising, after finding out what happened to her. And I only knew a part of it.

I decided to wait for her to wake up. I grabbed a book from the library and brought it with me to the console room. I tried to read, to no avail. My mind kept wandering, always leading me to the same place: Rose. I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to talk to her about it, find out what happened, but she wouldn't let me.

**~Rose~**

_The Doctor and I were shopping on some planet I had forgotten the name of right after the Doctor had said it, long strings of alien syllables easily rolling off his tongue. We had gotten separated by the large crowd in the marketplace. I was on my toes, trying to see over the mass of heads that surrounded me, to no avail. I lost my balance when someone knocked into me, and fell down. A man knelt down beside me. "You're a pretty one. Fetch a pretty price, I reckon," he procured a cloth from his pocket and pressed it over my mouth and nose. I struggled against him, but soon my vision became blurry, and my limbs sluggish and heavy. Everything slowly faded to black. _

I woke up screaming, my chest was heaving, my breathing erratic. I inspected my surroundings, realizing that I was safe on the TARDIS, in the strange room I had found refuge from the Doctor in. I took in deep breaths, trying to calm down.

Once I had my breathing under control, I stood up. The TARDIS hummed soothingly on my mind. "I'm alright, girl," I assured her.

**~Doctor~**

It had been _six _hours. Waiting was becoming increasingly unbearable. I needed her to come out from her hiding spot before I _exploded. _I had been so _stupid, _blowing up on her like I did. She would've been upset already, after all that had happened to her. I was _such _a magnificent _ass. _

I couldn't _believe _I lost her. Everything that happened to her was my fault. If I had just tried harder to find her…

I could go back and change it. She wouldn't have to go through what she did. I could save her before it happened. Sure, there would be a small paradox, but then this Rose wouldn't exist, this Rose that had gone through unspeakable things.

I shot out of my seat and headed to the console room. I started typing in the coordinates, 200 days before the one I had landed on when I found Rose.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, I suck. I'm so sorry that I've taken a year to update this. I want to update more. I just completely lost interest. If your would comment, that would definitely help spur me on. **

**~Doctor~**

Just as I was getting ready to flip the lever that would take me back to the Rose I once knew, I heard a soft strain of notes drifting from one of the corridors. I followed the sound to the music room.

I cracked the door open. There, I found Rose, sitting at the grand piano, her hands drifting above the keys lightly, creating the tune. It unfurled itself from the light tinkling of notes I heard before, to a hauntingly beautiful melody. Then, she began singing:

_We know full well there's just time_

_So is it wrong to dance this line?_

_If your heart was full of love_

_Could you give it up?_

I stayed just outside the door, leaving it cracked. Her voice was beautiful. It was as if she was not merely playing the song, but it was being tugged out of her heart through her fingers.

_'Cause what about, what about angels?_

_They will come, they will go, make us special_

_Don't give me up_

_Don't give..._

_Me up_

She began playing harder, her fingers digging into the keys, back hunched.

_How unfair, it's just our luck_

_Found something real that's out of touch_

_But if you'd searched the whole wide world_

_Would you dare to let it go?_

_'Cause what about, what about angels?_

_They will come, they will go, make us special_

_Don't give me up_

_Don't give..._

_Me up_

_'Cause what about, what about angels?_

_They will come, they will go, make us special_

_It's not about, not about angels, angels_

The ballad came to an end. I slowly backed away from the door, closing it softly. I turned on my heel and walked briskly towards the console room. My resolve was stronger now. It took me longer to get to the console room than it did to get to the music room before. The TARDIS had moved it farther away.

When I finally got to my destination, Rose was already there.

"I know what you're planning to do," she murmured, "and I won't let you."

I blinked. _TARDIS, you traitor._ She sent back an annoyed buzz.

"You can't erase everything you don't want to deal with. You can't change my past. It happened. And now we deal with it," she looked up from her fingers, which had been trailing on the console controls.

"I-" I paused. What should I say? "I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

We were both quiet. There was so much to say, yet nothing at all.

"I'm going back to my room," she finally said.

"Alright."

**~Rose~**

I was disappointed and angry. Disappointed because I didn't think the Doctor would do something like this. I knew he was upset, but this? This was deplorable. Angry because, well... that was obvious.

I walked to my room, caught up in my thoughts. I didn't know what to do from here. He could barely look at me with the guilt he was feeling, and I wasn't all that happy with him, either. I was glad to be back- so, so glad, but if things were to continue the way they have been, I couldn't handle it.

But still, I couldn't leave. That would be even worse. A horrible thought crossed my mind- _What if he wanted me to leave? _What if he couldn't even stand to look at me, dirty and tainted as I now was? My breaths were short now. What if he hated me? He _had _wanted it to change. What if now, that he couldn't change me back to the way I used to be, he wouldn't want me anymore? I was weak. I should have tried harder to keep those things from happening to me.

These thoughts ran through my mind in a matter of seconds that felt like hours, and I had found my way to my room, eyes burning with unshed tears. They were so close to spilling over, a twitch of my eye would send them tumbling down. I blinked, and two fat drops ran down my cheeks. Sniffing, I rubbed my cheeks and dried my eyes. _No, _I thought. _I would not cry. _

He had heard me sing. I hadn't intended him to. It was a song I had written a long time ago, when I first met the Doctor, and realized I l- no. I shook my head. I wasn't sure it was true anymore. I wasn't sure the feelings I had had for the Doctor were there anymore. I was stuck there, in Hell, for two hundred days. I don't know why I was so averse to him changing it. Perhaps it was the feeling that my suffering would have been for nothing. I wouldn't be me anymore. I would still be the stupid little girl who trusted the Doctor implicitly and without question. She _knew _now, though. She could trust no one in that way; not even herself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

******tw for this chapter**

**(AN: So….. Yeah. I am very sorry about the long break I took. Thank you to those who said my writing style has improved. A year in a decent English class that focuses on writing skills will do that. I don't know how much I'll update now. I've still got a hint of writer's block. Also, I have band camp coming up and I might get a job, and once Marching Band is over, I'll have the fall play. Hopefully I will find time, but I can't be sure. Oh, and I have Academic Team and hopefully Art Club, and I'll be in drama club again. I really like extracurriculars. They're what make school bearable. **

**Also, I want to say that I do not write this chapter lightly. **

**Anyway, on to the chapter!)**

**~Doctor~**

I watched her small form fade into the dark corridor, becoming smaller with each step. My hearts seized with each step she took away from me, until I could no longer see her. I let my eyes fall shut, a headache beginning to seep into my mind.

My fingers were still itching to disregard her feelings, and go back to get her anyway. _She wouldn't know. Not after I did it. _I sighed, and stood up. I couldn't do that. I couldn't let her down. _Again. _Still, though, the urge was there. I rambled about the TARDIS for a while, attempting, in vain, to change the direction of my mind's eye, which still saw Rose, huddled beneath the steaming shower, and the marks that I now knew the origin of. I wish I didn't. But I deserved this. I deserved to suffer. After all, she had suffered far greater, was probably still suffering. I longed to go to her, hold her, fix her. But I knew she would only shun my advances.

My mind was filled with remorse. It was all-consuming. I wanted it to _leave. _I was desperate for the horrible gnawing, destructive feeling to yield. It sat uncomfortably in my mind, my stomach, my _hearts._

I passed her door many times. The TARDIS seemed to be willing me to go to her. Didn't she know I _couldn't?_ All I brought with me was destruction. I tore down everything dear to me. She made me better, I made her worse. I tainted her with my darkness. But maybe, if she had made me better, I could do the same for her? I could help her recover. If she let me. I passed her door once again, coming to a halt. The ship was silent, even in my mind, where she had withdrawn. Hesitantly, I stepped towards Rose's door, raising my hand, then lowering it once again. I breathed deeply, raising my hand to knock. Three sharp taps against the wood yielded no response. I knocked again. Still no answer. Reluctantly, I laid my hand on the doorknob, turning it. Slowly, I opened the door and peered inside the bedroom. It had changed. No more were the pink walls and bedspread. Instead, there were stars. Real stars, a projected image of a galaxy on her walls, moving as one would. It was beautiful, but dark. She was also noticeably absent, however, light spilled under her bathroom door.

I crossed the room, still unsure of myself. I didn't know what I would say. I knocked, and no answer came, yet again. I didn't expect her to answer. "Rose? I'm gonna come in," I murmured. The door opened at my touch, and what I saw shocked me.

**~Rose~**

I reach my room quickly, and find it different from how I left it. Now, my walls were galaxies. I gazed around in wonder. This fit me much better than the old, juvenile pink that covered the room. I didn't deserve what the TARDIS did for me. Turning from the beautiful room, I lumbered to the bathroom. I hadn't done this in forever, not since after Jimmy Stone. I felt the need overcome me, though, to destroy myself. I pulled off the sweatpants the TARDIS had provided for me when I had escaped the Doctor earlier, letting them slide down my legs and onto the floor. I stepped over them, and sat down in the tub. With shaking hands, I removed the blade from my razor, holding it carefully, almost reverently. I lowered it to my thigh, and dragged the blade across my skin. Blood bloomed across my skin, rising, and then submitting to gravity, trickling down my thigh to splash onto the tub floor. I took pleasure, knowing that I was hurting myself. It stung horribly. I deserved to suffer.

I didn't want to die. I didn't deserve a relief from the pain. I was disgusted with myself. I had hurt the man I loved. _Yes, _I decided, _I did love him. _There wasn't much avoiding it. The TARDIS was my home. I would stay there, no matter the pain it caused me. It was selfish though. I stayed because I loved him, yet I was sure he didn't feel the same way. He would probably be happier if I was gone. I couldn't bring myself to leave though. I sat there, in a half-stupor, playing things out in my mind. _You're not good enough for him_ my mind venomously reminded itself. I opened my eyes. Blood covered the bottom of the tub, making it look as if crimson paint had been splashed inside. Blood was still draining slowly out of some of the deeper cuts.

I laid my head back against the wall, and closed my eyes, savoring the stinging sensation. I heard the bathroom door creak open, and I gasped, my eyes flying open. There stood the Doctor, his brown eyes wide in shock. "Why?"

**~Doctor~**

Crimson blood filled my vision. My throat closed tightly, cutting off my air. "Why?" I managed to choke out. _Why_ would she do this to herself? She had gasped when I came in, as if she hadn't heard me knocking. The blade she had been using was grasped tightly in her hand, cutting into it, yet she didn't seem to notice, or perhaps she didn't care. Blood streamed from her hand and dripped into the tub alongside the blood from her thighs. Her beautiful golden eyes were wide in shock, her mouth agape. She seemed to be trying to find the words to say.

"Rose," I articulated carefully, "Rose, please let go of the blade." She nodded feebly and dropped the blade. It clattered wetly onto the tub floor. I stepped slowly across the room, and extended a hand towards her, beckoning for her to stand up. She did, hesitantly. I grabbed a towel from behind me, and some bandages and antiseptic ointment. She said nothing, still. I led her to the toilet, and sat her down. She wouldn't look at me as bandaged her up, applying the ointment, then layering the cloth bandages on top.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**********************TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS**********************

**~Rose~**

My eyes were wide in shock, and perhaps fear. Of what, I wasn't certain. I dropped the blade when he asked me to. There wasn't much else I could do. He had found me. It probably disgusted him even more. He sat me down on the toilet, and began bandaging me up. I still hadn't said anything. Suddenly, reality clicked back into my mind. I pushed him away, and stood up.

"What are you doing here?" I fumed.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," he said meekly.

I scoffed. I was obviously not _okay. _What a ridiculously ignorant question. "_Obviously_ I'm absolutely FINE! Now, if you would kindly leave me the _hell_ alone?" I gestured to the door.

"I can't do that, Rose."

"And why not? You clearly had no qualms about it earlier!"

"_I WAS TRYING TO FIND YOU!" _he roared.

I shook my head, giving up on the conversation. "Can- can you just leave me alone? That's all I want."

"Yeah. Yeah, alright," he grabbed the razor blades before he stalked out of the room.

I sighed and closed my eyes, deep exhaustion setting in. I wanted to sleep for days. _You want to sleep forever, _said a voice in my mind. That actually didn't sound like a bad idea. I sighed heavily, resting my face in my hands. This was a mess. Life was a mess. Wouldn't it just be easier to just _stop? _

Any means of control in my life had been stolen. My body had been violated, and along with it my mind. My heart was shattered repeatedly. My relief stalked out the door in _his_ tight grip. Wearily, weakly, I stood from the sitting position I had fallen back into when he had left the room, and dragged myself to my bed. I climbed onto the soft mattress and fell asleep quickly, eyes burning from the tears I had shed.

**~Doctor~**

I fumed as I stalked out of the room, to the console room. I dropped the blades, and they rattled as they hit the floor. A small amount of her blood had transferred onto my skin. When I saw it, bitter tears rose again in my eyes. _Why would she do this to herself? _

I simply didn't understand. And I understood everything. I had lost my homeworld, and yet, this little pink and yellow human's suffering brought me to my knees, made me want to break the laws of time, to fix that which I had fucked up.

And, _oh, _how I had fucked up.

**AN: Okay, so I need help. I really don't know where to go with this at this point. Any thoughts/ideas would be greatly appreciated. **


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